“Why did she marry him?”
For those of you who know both my wife, Cindy, and me, you too may have asked this question and surely, the following story will come as no surprise:
This story begins like all great stories, in the shower. I unwrapped my new bottle of Lever 2000 Deodorant Body Wash and immediately noticed the print on the front label reading, “Over 70 Uses”. ‘Absolutely astonishing!’ I thought to myself.
Closely examining the front and rear labels I couldn’t find any further information regarding the full potential of this incredible product. Well, I thought, it’s a body wash, check! Hmmm, hand soap, face soap, shampoo, conditioner….., lubricant perhaps? After about 15 minutes of “careful consideration” I definitely ruled that one out. But what else could this amazingly versatile snake oil do? Dish soap, laundry soap, carpet shampoo, drain cleaner? My thoughts were getting more and more preposterous.
Okay, you’re probably thinking, “Jason, everyone has a brain-fart, a momentary laps of common sense and complete loss of rational thought or, maybe your brain just shut off for a moment.” THREE DAYS! THREE WHOLE DAYS! THE SUN SET AND ROSE THREE TIMES WHILE I PONDERED THIS CONFOUNDING RIDDLE!
Finally, defeated and frustrated, during a quiet moment with my wife I blurted out, “My body wash says it has over 70 uses but I can only think of five legitimate ones, maybe 10 if…. you….. cou… ” My words trailed off into silence as I looked at my wife’s face which held an expression that can only be described as utter befuddlement. Her eyes pointed at me but stared through me as she let out a long sigh articulating the word “Whhyyyyy” as it passed her lips. It was at that moment it occurred to me that perhaps I may have misinterpreted the word “Uses”.
That was 22 years ago and, sadly, not an isolated incident, not by a long shot. There have been so many well earned sighs and befuddled looks over the years which only demonstrates that you don’t have to be perfect to be loved by the most incredible person in your life!
J. M. M.
https://lifegetstricky.com
