Why don’t more guys talk about their first time? If it was anything like mine, it’s because they have enough sense to keep quiet about it. Maybe I Lived A Sheltered Life I had just turned 16, likely the age most start doing it. It wasn’t that I wanted to do it at that particular […]
The Awkward Truth About My First Time Read Post »
Horrific or Humiliating “From even the greatest of horrors, irony is seldom absent.” – H. P. Lovecraft This day began like most days for me, half a pot of coffee to start and two more large cups just to keep the buzz going. Cindy and I set out for town to run some errands, a
Something Horrific Or Humiliating, How Do You Decide? Read Post »
The Karma Bus “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Wayne W. Dyer Cindy and I have been married long enough to feel comfortable with criticizing each other’s personality flaws…on a regular basis in fact. For instance, I’m always on her case about what I call, dancing in front
Karma Teaches You How To Be Kind To Others Read Post »
Hickory, Dickery, Doc, the Humorous Side of Getting Hangry: “I hate cops!” A statement no law enforcement officer wants to hear from the person making their lunch. But it happens. That’s why any time I was on duty, I would always eat at establishments where I could watch my food being made. It allowed me
When You Get Hangry, Use An Abundance of Caution Read Post »
The Artist Formerly Known As Zsa-Zsa. A great dog with really poor timing. This story ends like all great stories, with a grown man on his knees in a fetal position, laughing/weeping on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I normally don’t identify the people in my stories, however, I will make an exception this
The True Story Of A Great Dog With Poor Timing Read Post »
It’s my night to drive! “Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.” – Scott Adam The Prelude: They say two wrongs don’t make a right but consider table salt. Sodium reacts violently when it comes in contact with water and chlorine is poisonous to humans. But combine the two and you get sodium chloride, essential for
It’s My Night To Drive, Forgiveness Or Revenge Read Post »
Have You Seen Me? Recently I went into a local deli/store and there I became entangled in conversation with a man I may or may not know, about a career I never had and a life I never lived. But he seemed certain of who I was. In fact, more and more certain as the
Have You Seen Me? I’m Positive You Think You Have. Read Post »
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER In my 49 years of life, 25 years in law enforcement and 19 years of marriage, I should have known better but: “Fate is shaped half by expectation, half by inattention.” – Amy Tan, ‘The Joy Luck Club’ I had one goal that day, well two: To save the world
I Should Have Known Better But Got Distracted Read Post »
Lessons that guide us through life can have a humorous result. “My way of joking is to tell the truth. That’s the funniest joke in the world.” – Muhammad Ali Throughout life we’re taught lessons to guide us through difficult times we may encounter in the future. Sometimes it’s a sit-down talk with an elder,
Lessons That Guide Us In Life With Humorous Results Read Post »
Apparently There Is A Fine Line Between Being Insanely Funny And Insanity: “Any strength carried to an extreme is a weakness.” A lesson my father taught me at a young age. Who thought he’d be right? Certainly not him. When I started dating my wife, Cindy, I often wondered why she was attracted to me.
A Fine Line Between Being Insanely Funny and Insanity Read Post »
The Hard Way: My wife, Cindy, is constantly on my butt about why I ‘have to do everything the hard way’. She’s not entirely wrong but, I don’t set out to do things the hard way, it just ends up that way even when I try to do it the easy way. I grow weary
The Hard Way Is The Only Way I Know Read Post »
Safety Slogans: “911, what’s your emergency?” “HELP! I need the Jaws-of-Life… and an air-ambulance, NOW!” Alright, let’s back up a second and give some context to this 911 call that may or may not have ALMOST happened, (leaving plenty of room for plausible deniability). We all see the warning signs posted along the roadways, the
Safety Slogans Are Great, You Can Never Have Too Many..NEVER! Read Post »
“A Resume Built on Responsibility and Good Judgement” A funny story inspired by three powerful quotes: No. 1: “There are three things I’ve learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.” – Linus van Pelt in It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown No. 2: “That’s much too vulgar a display of
Responsibility And Good Judgement Don’t Come Easy Read Post »
Can people change? I am notorious in my family for having no sense of direction. In fact, I am the butt of many jokes and impatient sighs for turning right instead of left or just for turning at all, for going North instead of South or not exiting when I’m supposed to or exiting when
Learning To Love Who You Are Because You Can’t Change Read Post »
‘Til death do us part, but first, let me get some photographs. The truth about Newlywed Love! They say opposites attract and I am a firm believer in that. Each person should bring a unique perspective to the relationship to challenge the other to do something they wouldn’t normally do. In our relationship, I’m the
A True Story of Newlywed Love, Adventure and Hypothermia Read Post »
True Love: “Why did she marry him?” For those of you who know both my wife, Cindy, and me, you too may have asked this question and surely, the following story will come as no surprise: This story begins like all great stories, in the shower. I unwrapped my new bottle of Lever 2000 Deodorant
A Story of True Love Overcoming Stupidity Read Post »
