Why don’t more guys talk about their first time? If it was anything like mine, it’s because they have enough sense to keep quiet about it.
Maybe I Lived A Sheltered Life
I had just turned 16, likely the age most start doing it. It wasn’t that I wanted to do it at that particular moment. But, it was apparent that I absolutely had to do it. In fact, one thing pointed to the urgency to get it done. Sadly, I honestly had no idea what I was doing and no time to learn.
Sure, I’d seen it done in movies and on T.V. but those are paid actors with certain “talents”, flattering camera angles and plenty of special effects. In a couple of scenes, the guy was smoking a cigarette while doing it. Completely unrealistic! One dropped hot ash and that would have ruined it for everyone. So I certainly couldn’t trust what I saw in the movies.
I had watched my parents do it a few times. They weren’t drawing attention to it or anything, I just casually watched through a window. I was partly curious but also knew someday I’d be doing it and I needed to learn at some point. I didn’t have a great view so I missed a lot of important stuff like, how you even get started. I figured I’d ask someone some day thinking I had plenty of time for that. Well, that time came sooner than I thought and there was no one around to ask.
Undoubtedly I had gone too long and couldn’t wait another moment. I had very few choices around where I lived but found a run-down place where I could get my first experience over with and behind me. It was the cheapest place around so I wasn’t expecting quality.
I pulled in and got out of my car. Looked around a bit hoping no one I knew would drive by and see me. I was a little unsure of what to do next. Inside the rickety ramshackle place an old man sat in a booth. He waved me over. He knew what I was there for and he knew I was inexperienced. All I knew was that he was really weird, like the old geezer in every horror movie that warns teenagers not to go to that old house on the hill, “Strange happenin’s there!”.
The old man told me I had to make payment in advance. ‘Payment in advance?’, I thought. I knew I was going to have to pay but, up-front seemed a little presumptive –
– What if something goes wrong?, What if I can’t figure out what to do?, .. or worse, What if I can’t finish? Do I ask the old man in the booth to finish for me? Do I get my money back? What if I didn’t pay enough to finish? Do I have to stop and go pay more?
I reluctantly gave the man $20 and hoped that would be enough. He told me, “You’ll get what you paid for and that’s it.” – ‘Wait, am I being timed?’, I thought. Nothing like adding a little pressure to my anxiety.
Well Betty, Let’s Do This
Betty was the kind of name you’d expect from an older generation but, Betty was only four years older than me. Betty was my first but, I certainly wasn’t Betty’s first. ‘Well, let’s get this done’, I thought.
In the back of the car was still a common place to do this. So, there I was, looking at Betty, “nozzle” in hand. My brain flooded with more questions:
‘So, how far do I stick it in? Just the tip or do I slide the whole thing in?’ There was a pronounced curve in it so I wasn’t sure the whole thing would even go in without forcing it. I settled on sliding it in as far as it would comfortably go and, to my surprise, it went further than I expected.
Hmmmm, now what? Do I just start pumping really fast or just kind of go with the flow? How will I know I’m done? Do I just wait for it to splash out of the hole all over? Uhg, so many questions. Why didn’t I ask someone..anyone! But not the weird old man in the booth, I’m not asking him anything!
I Got My Money’s Worth
Well it turned out that $20 was exactly what I needed to fill full and fullfil Betty. Nozzle in hand, I stood there satisfied until I noticed it was dripping quite a bit. I put it away hoping the mess would go unnoticed. But no, the weird old man was peering at me through the blinds in his booth. Oh God, was he watching the whole time. I never felt more uncomfortable.
My First Time Was Awkward But I Did Learn One Thing
I may not have known much about what I was doing my first time but, I did know I was never going to that gas station ever again!
