Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: Just what in the hell were you thinking? <- (My wife almost every day)
A: I used to try and defend my actions but, frankly, I’m not even sure anymore why in the hell I do half the things I do. I’m sure they seemed like really good ideas at the time.
Q: Are your stories true?
A: As far as you know, 100% true. Actually, yes they are true. The facts, as I remember them, have been documented with as much humor as I could draw from these events. I write my stories through the eye of whomever is looking down on me and laughing while all of this is happening.
Q: Are you embarrassed by the stories you tell?
A: Not at all. I’m human, humans make mistakes. Some more than others. That’s where I come in. I used to live my life trying to avoid mistakes at all costs and failed at that. These stories are cathartic. Not only allowing myself to make mistakes but reveling in them…for your entertainment, of course.
Q: If you find your life so funny, why does your Avatar look grumpy?
A: Since I’ve known my wife she constantly complains that I have a “permanent scowl” on my face. I argue, “That is my face!” Then she harps on me about how I don’t look happy. “I AM HAPPY! But now I’m getting angry because you keep saying I don’t look happy!!” I follow-up with, “See? My face hasn’t changed. I was happy, now I’m not. You can’t tell the difference because, THAT’S MY FACE!”
Q: Are you going to write a book?
A: Yes! Not a great one though. I thrive on mediocrity.
